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You don't have to deserve mother's love.

Updated: Jul 27, 2022

I was the fourth child, one of six children of my parents.

Unfortunately I was not the favourite. Because in all families normally the eldest and the youngest child receive more love and special attention I was no exception.

They were good parents and I discovered that mother loved us all to a fault. She made us all feel special and loved, in spite of her favouritism.

Father was quite transparent, who were his favourites and made no effort to hide it. I struggled nearly all my life to deserve his love and earn his appreciation, but never succeeded.

Then one day our family lost almost everything we possessed, including our reputation.

The brothers separated and individually we struggled to try and build a new life away from the taunts of a society that is quick to condemn with glee the downfall of any success. Vultures hovered and pounced seeking to have the last kilograms of the carcass of our business.

Our father a man of honour and stature, a sterling reputation, brilliant, charming, proud and dashing soon became a dispirited, lonely man. He searched for his children and friends in the rubble of his once large business empire but to his dismay discovered that no one had time nor space for him in their lives.

Then one day our elder son Amarprit returned to India to attend to some matter and went to meet his grandfather. When he returned to Dubai, with tears in his eyes he narrated how sad the condition of my parents were particularly that of father.

I could not abandon my parents nor my two widowed aunts who had no one to care for them, so I decided to give up ur new life overseas and return to India.

I did the best I could and soon my parents and I became intimate once again. Not a day would pass where my 72 year old father would not kiss, hug and bless my sons, wife and me. Some of the spark, and zest returned. He told me that his desire for death had been replaced by a desire to live.

He was still as independent as ever and hence a difficult man to control. But that was his greatness, for it were the same qualities that made him such a great success and widely respected. However the drive for success and wealth had been replaced by a desire to be useful to the world, and to help us bounce back in life.

Father's aggression had been replaced by acceptance, reprimands and disagreements and been replaced by counselling and mentoring. The same truths and words of wisdom were now delivered in a soft, loving manner without the former impatient and aggressive manner.

When we love others simply because of who they and we are, without expectations of returns, it enriches not only ourselves but also others who are in our life. We experience a sense of richness that no amount of wealth can ever provide.

I eventually had earned the love of my father and so it was for the next 12 years of his life, when he passed on, a peaceful man and a loving father.

I realised much later that I had re-earned my father's love at last.

Could this help explain the material, and spiritual bounce returning to my life?


Reposted 18 June 2023 to commemorate Father's day

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